My fiance is emotionally and verbally abusive at times and controlling. Wat to do without breaking up?
I’m 23 and she is 21.We have been 2gether for a year and a half, but i knew her for 4 years before we started dating. She wasn’t like this at first. She is very loveable and she cant stand being w/o me. But at times she is very mean and I’m pretty sure she’s bipolar. She always shuts down when she’s mad at me and doest talk to me like she doesn’ t wanna work things out. It’s like she wants to be mad at me and that hurts. She gets mad at me for petty things like if i wanna play football, if i didnt hear wat she said to me she gets ticked; other things like who i talk to, or if i’m mad at her she switches it up and she’s gets mean as hell, she likes to say stuff she knows will hurt me just for those same reasons, and she kinda walks all over me. She takes all her anger out on me and when i explain this acts like she dont care by ignoring me and that hurts, but an hour or 2 later shes like “ohh i love you so much, i cant be without u, and i miss u”. and she’s all up under and wants me to hold her and all that stuff. It’s so hard for me cause she’s my firt true love and she has my whole heart to herself and i just want to settle and have a family. My heart breaks at the thought of losing her but sometimes i feel like i need to break up wit her but that is harder to do than end the war in Iraq, b/c i love her so much she means the world to me. Does she really love me deeply like she says? Is ther anyway around this w/o breaking up? How do I handle a bipolar fiance who is emotionally abusive but my heart can even handle thinking about being apart from her? I need very helpful advice or tips.
September 14th, 2011 at 7:36 am
Counseling. If she wont’ go, go without her.
15 years working for medical providers and health insurance companies
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September 14th, 2011 at 11:36 am
Try counseling..professional intervention..
15 years working for medical providers and health insurance companies
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September 14th, 2011 at 3:38 pm
Just because you love someone doesn’t mean they are always the right person to marry. You need to ask yourself if you are willing to live with her the way she is acting for the rest of your lives?
As someone else suggested counseling would be beneficial to both of you. If you have a pastor, you could start there. There are also web sites that can direct the two of you through a series of questions to help you determine if you really will succeed in marriage or if you should consider other alternatives.
If you Google Pre Marriage Questions you will find a lot of sites that can get you off on a better footing.
15 years working for medical providers and health insurance companies
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September 14th, 2011 at 9:36 pm
If breaking up is an option you refuse to consider, there is no advice anyone can give you.
Oh, and a fiance is a guy.
15 years working for medical providers and health insurance companies
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September 15th, 2011 at 3:37 am
If you don’t insist on getting this taken care of before you marry her, it will be a big mistake. Counseling is probably your best bet. I wonder if you’re just making excuses for her. She could be bipolar, insecure, or just a manipulative witch. (or all 3)
She needs to know her crap behavior is driving you away and introducing serious doubts about your relationship. I assume that will be part of convincing her to go to counseling.
Or as a last desperate act, you could treat her like you would a dog — reward good behavior, discourage bad. She is dominating you. Probably terrible advice but I got nothing else. I think I watched too much Dog Whisperer, lol.
15 years working for medical providers and health insurance companies
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