Is this a normal change in a relationship, long-distance or otherwise?
My long distance boyfriend works with a pest control service that is family-owned. This involves a lot of traveling around, spraying, walking, climbing, crawling, and just all around physical job. Since it is a family business and his job is on salary, he will often work 12 or more hour days. I know he is tired, but he is also getting a little older. If he has a really busy day he will go to bed at 830 and wont call. But sometimes he won’t go to bed until late and still won’t call… and he picks up the phone sometimes when I do. I’m just wondering if its normal for a 29 year old man to start going to bed earlier, and if its reasonable to expect that we talk on the phone every or most nights(since it is long distance). He does, however, call me often throughout the workday and for 20 or 30 minutes at a time every so often. Can’t do it all the time. But should I feel bad that most of his talk time is when hes at work (and is forced to be awake, etc)?
He seems to think if he gets the time in earlier it doesnt matter. I’m not saying we never talk in the evenings, but that we don’t as much as the first 6 or 7 months of the relationship when we talked almost every night. We have known each other a long time so is this just a natural progression?

June 5th, 2011 at 8:35 pm
To be in a relationship, you need to be able to touch, kiss, hug… LDR are bs… get another internet boyfriend or a man within your zipcode.
Good luck
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June 7th, 2011 at 6:34 pm
I think it means he is feeling comfortable with the relationship. He isn’t ignoring you and he isn’t letting days go by. He needs to be in contact with you, which is a good thing. I think he’s just tired and as the relationship progresses, you two should think more of moving closer to each other. Maybe he will start missing you at bedtime and think of that
Good luck.
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June 9th, 2011 at 2:34 pm
Nope, not natural. My hubby and I did the long distance thing for two years. We called each other during the day from work, and burned up those phone lines each and every night from just after dinner time until we both fell asleep. I don’t want to plant this seed in your mind, but is it possible that he is going out at night and not telling you about it? 29 is not “getting older” by any stretch of the imagination , so you shouldn’t make excuses for him. If he wanted to speak with you, he would call you and want to talk to you more without any type of distraction. Be careful, and start asking questions for your own piece of mind.
Let me put it another way: Since all you’ve got right now is communication, then it should be nurtured!
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June 11th, 2011 at 12:34 pm
Pretty nature. Although, long-distance relationships are always hard. What the two of you need to work on is elimitating the distance.
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June 13th, 2011 at 12:34 pm
It sounds like he’s just settling in. I think what’s more important is that you talk every day. It doesn’t matter if it’s during the workday or when he gets home. As long as that’s happening, I don’t really think it matters whether or not you talk at night specifically.
I know it’s nice to do that whole laying in bed, talking on the phone drifting off to sleep together and saying “good night” to each other right before you cross into dreamland, but it’s not realistic. Once a relationship passes its “brand-new” phase, things start to settle in and become more comfortable. Routines will change a little. As long as you trust him, and you still talk to him at least once every day, I wouldn’t worry about it at all. Sounds perfectly normal.
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June 15th, 2011 at 5:34 pm
i say this is the beginning of the end. bottom line if someone wanted to talk to you they would find a way not just obligatory calls during the day.
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June 17th, 2011 at 7:33 pm
his calling you everyday is a good sign. i dont think he has someone else seriously in his life, otherwise he wouldnt call you like that. the worst probablity, he lost his interst from you, detached and maybe he is looking around or he has some date, but not serious.
if he wanted to talk to you, he would create time. come on ! since you accept the less effort and care to continue the relaitonship and tolarate his negligence, then why should he effort more ? if you feel there is something wrong, then trust your feeligns.
it sounds your relationship doesntgive excitement to him like before. what is he doing at weekends ? 30s arent old for men. maybe he goes aout at nights but he hides it, because it would make you feel worried.
how often do you meeet with him ? try to visit out of sudden on night if it is posible. you will see what is really going on. also you both need to take more serious steps for your relaitonship, because long distance cause lots of problems, insecurity, lack of satisfaction, lies, hidden things.. it is always easy to hide things from far. i *hope* your bf is someone honest and trustworthy, but keep your eyes open. and ask for his intentions about you.
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June 19th, 2011 at 10:34 pm
I think its normal after a while. I’ve been in one for 4 years now, he lives in Germany and i live in US. After 1 year we started talking less and i was concerned because i thought it wasn’t normal. I started to get fustrated and one day told him that i wanted to break up (dramatic i know). We talked and i told him how i was feeling and we both figured out that we started talking less because our conversations becuase very routine and it was getting for a lack of a better word…boring. We talked about it and we figured out new ways of communicating that wasnt’ just phone calls and emails. Now we are stronger than ever. Email me if you have more questions or if you want some ideas. Good luck and i hope that things work out
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