i have achieved the possible and located god?
the age old concept of a creator of all things has been around for as long as humans have, to give explanation and meaning to things in the world that cannot be explained. however, although this idea is an ancient one, still nobody can actually explain what it is, i mean im inclined to think that our omnipresent moral governers of earth are a little closer than you might have first thought, indeed, our single celled comrades are everywhere at one given time, and i propose a bewildering scenario similar to the apparent single conciousness in an ant nest, (, that every ant instictively knows what to do down to every last worker hatched, to make spectacular feats of architecture, air circulation, food production etc) well what if BACTERIA IS OUR GOD? A single unified omnipresent presence, invisible but the entire wrold depend upon them, and also live in the shadow and fear or terrible diseases. I mean, they always get what they want,they can cause plagues and other punishments sent down by god supposedly, it’s entirely feasible. Bacteria are without a doubt the rulers of our world. Bacteria, or single celled organisms were there at the beginning of life, we all require bacteria in our body to be able to live; one example being the digestive tract.
And the fact that being exposed to germs and bacteria prepares the immune system and the body is able to build up defences, and thus is able to encounter germs and infection with less chance of succumbing to disease. This is routine in vaccinations.
Bacteria can eat through anything, kill a large proportion of a nation fairly rapidly, and astronauts have taken test samples into space OUTSIDE of the spacecraft, and there was still a large proportion of them thriving. they are going to outlive us certainly.
They are the beginning and they are the end.
They are everywhere and yet we see nothing.
they are essential for every basic process in the world
you can fight them but you will never beat them,
oh yeah and they’re badas, living in the freezing vaccuum of space.
They control everything and are the origin of everything
When you die you decompose in the ground where bacteria digest you, and thus your very matter becomes the fuel for the reproduction of bacteria, your physical earthly body essentially becomes bacteria. Notice anything? thus you are at one with god
ALL HAIL OUR GERMY GOD!
thankyou so much for all the complements i have recieved, and to those whose limited mental capacity did not allow them to see this for what it is-quite obviously a stab at being funny-well done on dumbing yourself down with your cringeworthy responses
aha, just noticed that the people blind to the comedy essence of this piece-are christians. i mean; i cannot believe that some people are THAT gullible that they would believe some guy on yahoo answers raving about worshiping germs. this is a sad time for intellect

May 14th, 2011 at 1:35 pm
WOW, toastbot! WOW!
Rock on!
Report this comment
May 14th, 2011 at 2:35 pm
interesting………..what made bacteria?
Report this comment
May 14th, 2011 at 3:33 pm
Makes sense, but alas, still fail
Christian
Report this comment
May 14th, 2011 at 4:34 pm
I found him too
he was hiding in my closet
All this time i thought it was the boogeyman
Christian
Report this comment
May 14th, 2011 at 5:35 pm
So Listerine is Satan?
Christian
Report this comment
May 14th, 2011 at 6:36 pm
God is a supreme spirit who created bacteria and everything else
Christian
Report this comment
May 14th, 2011 at 7:34 pm
what do u do in your free time?
Christian
Report this comment
May 14th, 2011 at 9:33 pm
Read bible
don’t worship a germ.
Christian
Report this comment
May 14th, 2011 at 11:34 pm
Now that’s food for thought..
Christian
Report this comment
May 15th, 2011 at 1:34 am
Meh.
Christian
Report this comment
May 15th, 2011 at 2:33 am
That is awesome- very creative and makes perfect sense, doesn’t it?
I also love the response “So Listerine is Satan?”
Christian
Report this comment
May 15th, 2011 at 4:34 am
That is sick and stupid just because they fit certain parts of the description doesn’t make them god, explain talking, explain the one being ,explain jesus, explain the goodness of heaven and badness of hell, explain why you haven’t been smote, explain how it created land and water, explain miracles, explain angels, dreams, visions, the list is infinite you are an idiot!
Christian
Report this comment
May 15th, 2011 at 6:33 am
Ok Ok …Im workin on a coupla miracles…
Christian
Report this comment
May 15th, 2011 at 8:34 am
Atoms should be gods.atoms form molecules,molecules form different phases.bacteria consists of solid,liquid,plasma and little gas phase.
Christian
Report this comment
May 15th, 2011 at 11:33 am
There are lots of anaerobic parts of Earth and the Universe that are bacteria-free…the majority, actually.
Who made and controls all of the bacteria? A single bacteria cannot choose to act in a different way for a reason. If a bacteria is a healthy one, and lives in our GI system to help break down nutrients, it can’t suddenly choose to change into a bacteria that causes disease. There is no organized system of action or thought or strategy among bacteria at the bacteria level. They are set on this earth by God, to behave in ways that consistent with their design, including reproducing and participating in the process of decay. In many cases, man has learned to deal with and overcome bacteria to his advantage.
If microscopes had not revealed bacteria to us, would you be making the same case for roaches, worms, or rats?
Christian
Report this comment
May 15th, 2011 at 2:34 pm
You have too much time on your hands. However, it makes at least as much sense as the absurd Christian concept of God.
Christian
Report this comment