I got myself in a bad situation; how can I get out of this horrible relationship?
My boyfriend and I have almost 4 years of history. After 1 year of being long-distance, I moved in with him just a couple months ago. Well, things are not how I thought they would be.
This relationship is bad for me and now I need to get out of it. The only thing is I don’t have a lot of money, because spent most of it moving cross-country to be with him. I have a car I need to relocate back home where I came from.
I feel trapped. Should I just work and save my money even though living together is very unhealthy for me?? Or should I take my family’s advice and just fly home for now and worry about the car later?
He’s not physically abusive, but he’s very controlling and emotionally abusive. He doesn’t respect me at all and I’m miserable. I’d rather feel like crap at home with my family who loves me, than out here where all I’ve got is him.
I forgot to mention that for me to just pack up and go isn’t easy; I moved here from about 2000 miles away. I don’t want to drive that far by myself.
We met 4 years ago at school. Not on the internet.
October 7th, 2011 at 9:37 pm
Well you say you have a car. So ok when he leaves the house for a couple of hours, pack up only your valuable items and leave. Just move back in with your parents until you get money.
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October 7th, 2011 at 10:36 pm
Get on a plane and forget the car for now. It’s just a thing. Your self preservation is by far more important.
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October 8th, 2011 at 12:36 am
sell the car and buy a one way ticket
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October 8th, 2011 at 2:36 am
If your family is willing to help, go home. Now.
So sorry he turned out to be a jerk, but happy and proud of you for knowing you deserve better. If someone can fly you home, can’t you afford gas to drive back?
See what your family is willing to do to get you out of the situation and take the help.
Good bye and good luck.
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October 8th, 2011 at 5:36 am
Honey, life is too short to be miserable. I would suggest getting up enough money to pack the car and drive home. If you are fearful he won’t let you, then hop a plane home! Let your family help you if they are asking. Get out before he does become physically abusive to you. Good luck.
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October 8th, 2011 at 7:36 am
Fly home leave the car just go. Your family will look out for you.
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October 8th, 2011 at 8:36 am
adjust both in a family life
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October 8th, 2011 at 10:36 am
That’s sort of a tight situation. You need to get away quick. These are your options: Sell your car, get back home to your family and buy a new one, move back without the car and worry about shipping it later, try saving a bit more money so you and your car can go one time, ask you family for money so you and you car can go or talk it out with him. Good luck!!
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October 8th, 2011 at 12:36 pm
fly home to your caring family asap….I just wonder what happened ….he was good to you when you were long-distance,sems to me he never wanted you nearby???
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October 8th, 2011 at 1:36 pm
I guess this has been an eye-opener. What I would do is fly back home and become “untrapped”, rather than get more suffocated and stick around because of the car. Cars will come and go. Life is too short.
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October 8th, 2011 at 2:36 pm
Ask your family for a loan and pay every $ back to them. Any abuse is unacceptable Don’t leave your car behind unless its not worth the petrol it will cost to take it.Sometimes it may be better to just walk away.Make a better choice of man before you date again, as we seem to fall for the same type over and over again.May be you could sell your car and buy another when you get home. Good luck
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October 8th, 2011 at 3:36 pm
i feel sorry for you…. I know its really hard, especially after you choose to move across-country to be wit him.
You better go home and leave him… You deserve a better person.
my suggestion, you can sell your car to a car dealer, so you can get money quickly. then use that money to go home.
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October 8th, 2011 at 5:36 pm
Just fly home! If your family needs you right now, they need your support. Leave this relationship.
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October 8th, 2011 at 7:36 pm
Unfortunately you made one of the biggest mistakes that people make when they meet somebody on the internet (I am guessing this is what happened). You talk by computer, and over the phone, and convince yourself you really know the person. Then you pack up your whole life and move to be with the person only to find out that it is somebody totally different. You can NOT NOT NOT get to know somebody through long distance contact. We are just not wired that way, and it is always a failure.
He isn’t physically abusive now, but once you see him controlling, and emotionally abusive, he’s heading in that direction. Take your family’s advice and GET OUT. Pack your belongings and fly home like they told you. But why can’t you just load up your stuff in the car and drive home? If there is something wrong with the car, leave it. Your personal health and well being are what’s important. But if the car is in working order, why fly? Do NOT tell him you are leaving. Wait for him to be at work, pack your stuff and get gone. Don’t even leave him a note. Let him guess where you have gone, and if he calls you there, just tell him you realised the whole thing was a huge mistake and it’s over.
Whatever else you plan, do not stay with this man, or you will end up in a far worse mess than you’re in now. GO.
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October 8th, 2011 at 9:36 pm
I’d move out & have a family member retrieve the car. < –If I had it to do over.
I’ve been there before and lost/gave up on the car, but at least I got out. Screw the car, save yourself first.
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October 8th, 2011 at 11:36 pm
The physically will come sooner or later.
Does he know that you are leaving. Can he work the comptur. And know how to find want you have been doing on the comptur.
First time a man tells you that you are nothing. Is the time to tell them to go jump in the lake. It is better to be by your self. Then to be beaten down.
Abusive men will tell you every thing that you want to hear. They have try it on me. But I believe if they love me. They would not say or do anything that would hurt me. And if I loved them I would not.
A good marrage is base on trying to help each other. Not the Man/Woman is the only one that gets everything.
More woman are the ones getting abuse. But there are man too.
And why should you feel like crap at home with your family?
No matter what you do look like. If you do nice things. And are a good person. Then you are the most pretty in the world.
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October 9th, 2011 at 12:37 am
Girl I understand! can you sell your car and get a plane ticket with the money? Self Preservation. You have to do what is best for you because you are the only person there you can rely on.
Good Luck and God Bless
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