How do I stop the teasing?
Jul.22, 2011 in
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My son has came straight out with me and told me that, “Rikard” was bullying him baout his looks. My son takes after his father: tall, black hair, green eyes. I walked him to Rikard (real name: Richard) and gave him a letter that requests an apology. Rikard slugged him in the face. This happened today and now Jamie is in the hospital. Oh crap! Did I do the right thing?
My son turned 5 in October. Rikard has been held back in Kindergarten 2 times. So he’s 7 or 8
Pie: Hibby is Navy Seal
July 24th, 2011 at 8:36 pm
I think you should have contacted the principle at the school and talked to the kids parents about what he did to your son. That way that kids parents could give him crap, I don’t think the letter was a very good idea but don’t be too hard on yourself. Like I said contact the kids parents and the principle let them deal with the kid.Good luck
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July 27th, 2011 at 7:36 am
one punch, and hes in the hospital? anyway, talk to rikards parents, or have ur husband deck rikards father in the face
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July 29th, 2011 at 9:36 pm
Good choice talk to z Richards parents.
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August 1st, 2011 at 2:35 pm
Your next step should be to call the other boys’ parents and tell them what happened. Call the princepal and report it to them too.
If nothing gets done then go to the police about it.
You didn’t mention how old the boys are…
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August 4th, 2011 at 9:36 am
yes u did, but u didnt expect the boy to do that. Now talk to the kids parents. if it was me, Rikard would have gotten a spanking from me
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August 7th, 2011 at 11:36 am
bullying happens for different reasons depending on age.
if the kids are younger, sometimes is a lack of social skills. They are trying to get attention but aren’t sure the right way to do it. (granted, some kids are mean on purpose)
If they are older, it could be jealousy or trying to fit in, be cool, stuff like that.
Contacting the parents when they are younger is a good idea, but not for high-school, generally it makes it worse because then the victim will be teased more for “running to his mommy”.
Contacting the principal again, works for the younger ages, but the same applies with teen-agers with the running to someone for help.
If your child could avoid when possible, it would be helpful. Most bullies will move on if they are not getting the desired reaction from their target.
As scary as it may be for your son, tell him to stand up for himself. Not physical altercation, not demanding an apology, but facing the bully and standing his ground.
When Richard teases him about his looks he should say something like “Well, at least I’m not as ugly as you.”
WARNING…this may result in Richard hitting him again, but if Jamie doesn’t back down, and continues to “give back” what Richard is throwing at him, Richard should loose interest.
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August 10th, 2011 at 5:37 pm
well, i think you did the right thing, but i would have whooped that boys but if he hit one of my kids…
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August 14th, 2011 at 7:36 am
Karate
Personal Experience
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August 17th, 2011 at 9:36 pm
parents are the only option left
Personal Experience
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August 21st, 2011 at 2:36 pm
pull richard aside and quietly and calmly tell him that if he ever teases or touches your son again, you will have your husband, who is a police officer (just lie) beat the sh*t out of him and shoot him in the head
no excuse for bullying… lying is justified
rosie odonnel did something similar…
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August 25th, 2011 at 10:36 am
Talk to the teacher, ask her/him to do something about it. You’ll also want to talk to the dean and the principal in the same visit. Also, demand to meet with Rikard’s parents.
Be as nonjudgemental and cooperative with the teacher as you can – they want to help but there’s only so much a teacher can do.
Be polite but firm with the administrators – they’re a bit further from the clasroom, so they don’t have a relationship with your son like the teacher does.
With Rikard’s parents, mention the word “lawsuit” A LOT – that will get their undivided attention!!!
As a rule, bullies usually learned their antisocial behavior from their parents – his dad/stepfather/mother’s boyfriend (or whatver passes for a male role model in Rikard’s home) is probably an abusive jerk.
The mom probably is the dad/stepdad/boyfriend’s punching bag, and takes it out on the kids.
That’s why Rikard is a bully.
“Parents” like that don’t understand reason or apologies – they DO understand PUNISHMENT – cops being called, kids being taken away by ACS, court appearances, lawsuits, missed days from work and consequent loss of income/writeups/layoffs – and they WILL back down if they think you can bring down the law on them and/or cost them a lot of money.
Remember, they’re cowardly bullies just like Rikard is – after all, he learned his antisocial behavior from them!!!
I’m a New York City public school teacher – I work special ed, so I see the results of disfunctional parenting every day.
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August 29th, 2011 at 7:36 am
Well according to most TV shows – Lifetime, WE, etc – you need to get a gun and shoot the little ba…
No, can’t do that. A letter requesting an apology cracks me up. What world do you live in that you would hand a letter to an 8 year old requesting an apology? That’s just the other extreme of my first suggestion.
I would talk to the school. In most states, Kindergarten is optional. The kid should not have been “held back” but simply released. First grade is where you can start holding back and there are more dicipline options in the first grade. You should pressure the school to provide alternate education for the bully, including expulsion.
Also, you have the option to file a police report. The 8 year old can be brought to juvenile court – with his parents – to answer charges.
But based on what you have in your question, you are either completely uninformed in child education or you are a TROLL. Either way, I put out some useful information and got 2 points.
I’m a New York City public school teacher – I work special ed, so I see the results of disfunctional parenting every day.
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September 2nd, 2011 at 6:36 am
Depending on the age of the other kid contacting the parents (while required) will be a waste of time. If the kid acts like this now it is because they don’t care enough about their child to teach him morals , so why should they care about yours.
Do contact the school and keep the paperwork from the hospital.
The note thing probably wasn’t a good idea and he will be teases about it. If it happns again, contact the school and the local police dept. (they won’t do anything but it will start a paper trail you may need later).
teasing at a young age is normal for kids but usualy getting punched isn’t. Don’t let the school “gloss it over” and try to keep up with things that go on. If it happens with other kids too then you might get together with there parents and as a group go to the school board and insist on something being done (alternative schooling).
20-30 years ago this wouldn’t have happened. This comes from all the idiots that told us not to spank or punish our kids because it would hurt their self esteem. Don’t let them play war, dodge ball or other win/loose games because it might make them feel bad.
Now we have a generation of kids that are either sissys or bullys with a small amount of “normal” kids trying to stay normal while dodging the bullys and wanding their way through the ” play nice, everyones a winner” mush crap that fills the schools.
Sorry, I tend to go overboard about the Governmental brainwashing and the “we know whats best for you” crap they keep handing out.
I’m a New York City public school teacher – I work special ed, so I see the results of disfunctional parenting every day.
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September 6th, 2011 at 5:36 am
Call the police. Don’t contact Richard directly at all. As an adult, any threat you make to Richard is child abuse. Tell the school administrators, that Richard needs to be removed from the school, or at minimum the classroom. Send a copy of the medical bills to Richards parents, they may not care enough to discipline him for his own good, but how about their checkbook.
I’m a New York City public school teacher – I work special ed, so I see the results of disfunctional parenting every day.
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