Things have gotten really bad I have gotten violent towards her and used filthy language I have also kept blaming her for this whole thing and telling her how hurt I am everytime I see fathers with their children and insulting her. I am still harbouring anger at her for my father abandoning me(because he had told her to get a abortion before hand,AND he said he wanted to be married when he had kids and him and my mom weren’t so I figure that she just shouldn’t have had me because I have been deprived of almost everything and have to work harder to stay a float than all my friends yes I know this is illogical since there isn’t anything she can do but I still keep feeling the way I feel). Everytime I look at her I just want to do something awful to her,and I don’t want to be like this anymore.

I am 21 but I have helped her in the past pay bills and do help out whenever I can financially,I also have helped her when it comes to doing other stuff like running errons etc.but point is I just don’t know what to do anymore. Should I at this point just try to leave the house?? She says that I need to get mental help and I agree that I do (I was diagnosed as emotionally disturbed as a child) but at the same time how do I control my anger with her in the mean time? It is going to take time I am sure… Yes I know that she is my “mom” and I know that assault is illegal and that I am wrong for doing what I have done I admit that. But its as if I just lose my mind I keep replaying the pain of being hurt by my father over and over again in my head then it overshadows all the positive things she has done for me than before I know it I’ve become overly emotional,bitter,angry,ungrateful,self absorbed,and negative. I just want to be a better person despite having to live in a roach infested apartment and not even having the love of my father who lives only a state away. So how do I control my anger at my mother?
@Lady you know who I think is a piece of sh*t? The pathetic cruel turd that beats someone that is already down I am obviously lashing out due to extensive pain than you decide to inflict more pain on me wow do you feel better about yourself now? you pig. you know f*ck you this makes me want to beat my mother to death now. everytime someone defends that b*tch i want to kill her. thanks to you my mom will get a bigger a** whooping my mother provided nothing welfare paid for me mostly. and you think thats good parenting? you suck.
@Lady also you don’t have a right to be so judgemental we’ve all made mistakes and my mom is a ho do you not think she disappointed her mom? my fathers dad is a crack head my mom has made huge mistakes in her life she incompetent you moron.
sorry my brothers dad is a crackhead.
@LADY Also how much more messed up than me are you? for bashing someone that is mentally ill you aren’t the one that is extra poor I am paying for my mothers mistake but thanks to you now she is gonna get a big a** whooping you have yourself to thank.
@strawber… she doesn’t care about me at all believe you me she doesn’t care she has emotionally abused me all my life.It isn’t as if my mother has never gotten violent with me because she HAS.
@Lady you are also really ignorant when someone has a chemical imbalence in their brain they are unable to think as clearly as a normal person I bet you’re a awful mom. You are completely heartless.