Ok, my doctor told me that I had epilepsy (temporal lobe epilepsy, to be exact). I didn’t believe him, so I went for a second opinion. This doctor is telling me that I am afflicted with schizophrenia. I want to believe him, but considering that one doctor has already been erroneous, I just can’t take that leap of faith.

I know that it isn’t the best notion to check with strangers online about this, but OH WELL!

I started to hear voices when I was 12 years old. Then, I would see things that weren’t there. People, cockroaches, and scenes of what was supposed to be “my future” popped into my line of vision. I was hallucinating and seeing illusions. These voices told me that they were doing all sorts of terrible things to me while I slept. Then, they told me that they were stalking me. Then, they don’t me that I was a Saint, and I had to commit suicide to save the world (I almost did it too; I tried to do it 3 times at least).

I used to believe that cameras were all over my house, and my words and thoughts were being broadcasted on the radio. I used to think that my pediatrician was trying to poison me with medication.

But then, I took medication (Abilify), and I don’t think those things anymore. I only think that I’m hideously ugly and horrendous to look at, and that I’ll die alone.

So, am I really schizophrenic? No one else in my family has schizophrenia. How did I get it? This sucks because my doctor told me that I’ll have it for the rest of my life. I need medication to treat it, and the medication alone costs $500 per month. I can’t afford that.
I tried to kill myself because the voices told me to and I thought that the voices were real and they knew best. Now that I’m older, I realize that I should listen to the voices in my head, and I’m not suicidal.
I mean *shouldn’t listen to the voices in my head*