Do you like my new poem, Loose?
Oct.13, 2011 in
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*****
She don’t love me so I jumped off the bridge
Now wish I could fly like a birdie
I would go back up and start all over
Find a way to work around the silly stuff
The river is cold and coming up really fast
I wish I could turn into a fish right now
I’d swim to you and prove that I am a winner
Not a sinner or saint, just the one late for dinner
I made a big splash on the front page papers
Now everybody talks about me an awful lot
I’m the lost, I’m the looser, I’m the pancaked boozer
Birdman-Fish of the James Street Bridge
*****
October 13th, 2011 at 10:36 pm
loving the transition from bird to fish- never heard the expression “pancaked boozer” before, but this is a nice, neat, evocative poem. gold star for you!
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October 14th, 2011 at 12:36 am
I read the news today, oh boy
About a lucky man who made the grade
He blew his mind out in a car
He hadn’t noticed that the lights had changed
A crowd of people stood and stared
They’d seen his face before
Nobody was really sure if he was from the House of Lords
Yes, I like it. I can relate.
A Day in the Life
Lennon/McCartney
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October 14th, 2011 at 2:36 am
What on earth was in those pancakes?? Must have been some serious stuff.
Visit my 360 blog.
A Day in the Life
Lennon/McCartney
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October 14th, 2011 at 4:36 am
wow, i get the transition from bird to fish, i like it.
once again you have the soul of a poet.
A Day in the Life
Lennon/McCartney
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October 14th, 2011 at 7:35 am
I liked it. water is hard from a long fall, and changing of the mind didn’t slow the decent even a bit. I liked the birdman-fish coinage also. But, the James Street bridge is only 6 feet off the water, and the water is only 4 inches deep. That’s the one here at least.
A Day in the Life
Lennon/McCartney
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October 14th, 2011 at 10:36 am
This is tightly packed as usual and on the cutting edge for recipes of a suicidal pancake nature.
A Day in the Life
Lennon/McCartney
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October 14th, 2011 at 1:36 pm
That’s so sad. I like the last stanza best. Very telling imagery.
As usual, a poem well done.
A Day in the Life
Lennon/McCartney
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October 14th, 2011 at 5:36 pm
Very good. I have never ever failed to like one of your poems, TD.
A Day in the Life
Lennon/McCartney
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October 14th, 2011 at 10:36 pm
Pancaked boozer.. ummm so you are FLAT on yur face like a pancake. Nice..
A Day in the Life
Lennon/McCartney
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