how do you feel about this bachelor party situation?
The man that I’ve been with for a few years now is working on some debt issues before we get married. I told him he needs to reduce it before I get married to him which he has. (from 70 grand to 42 grand over the last year and a half) He lived off credit cards before I found out. Now things are some what under control that he has a well paying job. Now the delema is his brother is getting married in October and wants to have his bachelor party in vegas. I’m kind of ticked I guess because all this time he was bad mouthing his brother for not being considerate about his financial situation (plus doesn’t the best man plan the bachelor party!) and now he’s planing on going. He JUST received better pay within the last month and now he’s ready to splurge again. I’m upset because first of all I haven’t been on vacation in over 3 years and have put it on the back burner because he didn’t have the money, now all of a sudden he wants to go and (flight is about $450 from Jersey where we live) and than whatever spending money he does when he’s over there … what like $600-$700) On top of that he’s planning on giving some money for a gift. I know it’s his brother and some of you will be thinking I’m fearful of Vegas (I know he’s faithful) but would you be mad too if your guy was working on his debt to marry you and then squander money for a stupid bachelor party he feels like he has to go to? I know the guys answering this will be on his side but do your girls feel the same or am I being crazy!
I just don’t know if he’s putting our best interest in mind.
September 25th, 2010 at 3:36 pm
Tough situation. On one hand I see where you are coming from. On the other hand, it’s his brother and he wants to be there for him.
Maybe try to compromise. Like get the flight, but cut down the spending money. He doesn’t need an additional $600 to$700 for a night. Usually the best man does host the party. I would say okay it’s $450 for the flight and you can use $400 for spending cash.
Until you are married his money is still his and your money is yours.
He shouldn’t have to miss the experience of his brother getting married just because he is trying to pay down debt. It should only really set him back a month or so. Good luck!
General Motors used to have sell well over 58% of the U.S. car market. Today it is less than half that.
All of the ceos answers was making huge profitable gas guzzling behomouths.
The ceos ignored the gas crisis in the 1970′s for short term profits.
The ceos of the big three U.S. car makers gave up on the small economy fuel efficent cars to Japan in the 1970′s.
Keeping the ceos in power makes as much sense as re-electing Pres. Bush Jr. to finish the absolute destruction of the U.S. and world.
Only a fool would keep putting the worst man in and in again.
American Business removes the bad ceos. Instead of putting in a similar incompetent leaders.
P.S. this disaster was all made by Pres. Bush Jr. by his forced dates to report to Pres. Obama with the bridge loans.
If All the phonies said no loans should have ever been given to G.M. and Chrysler, there highly feared leader Dubya did this!
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October 17th, 2010 at 11:36 pm
hmm i am with you on this one he should tell his brother that they can go to atlantic city its closer an what not or turn down on going cus of money issues and i honestly would look beyond this and see is he really right for you
if it was your sister would u go? got to keep in mind it is his brother i dont know its a hard situation to be in
but is he paying his bills and you paying yours or you both paying his bills like is he paying bills yall live together and you pay the rent ec alone all that plays a factor if he is just working to pay his bills you pay yours and rent an what not his butt will not be going no place and if he does his crap is being sold on e bay and craigslist before he gets home
General Motors used to have sell well over 58% of the U.S. car market. Today it is less than half that.
All of the ceos answers was making huge profitable gas guzzling behomouths.
The ceos ignored the gas crisis in the 1970′s for short term profits.
The ceos of the big three U.S. car makers gave up on the small economy fuel efficent cars to Japan in the 1970′s.
Keeping the ceos in power makes as much sense as re-electing Pres. Bush Jr. to finish the absolute destruction of the U.S. and world.
Only a fool would keep putting the worst man in and in again.
American Business removes the bad ceos. Instead of putting in a similar incompetent leaders.
P.S. this disaster was all made by Pres. Bush Jr. by his forced dates to report to Pres. Obama with the bridge loans.
If All the phonies said no loans should have ever been given to G.M. and Chrysler, there highly feared leader Dubya did this!
Report this comment
November 5th, 2010 at 3:37 pm
Oh no – I’m TOTALLY with you!!! I would be FUMING over that situation! Especially because you have gotten shafted for years! I would tell him thanks, but how about you and your brother go out fishing or shooting or to a game (whatever they are both in to) LOCALLY and THAT will be your own personal bachelor party. If he is persistent then say fine, I’m going to need $5,000 for MY OWN vacation then… I’m sorta an eye-for-an-eye girl myself…
Good Luck!!
General Motors used to have sell well over 58% of the U.S. car market. Today it is less than half that.
All of the ceos answers was making huge profitable gas guzzling behomouths.
The ceos ignored the gas crisis in the 1970′s for short term profits.
The ceos of the big three U.S. car makers gave up on the small economy fuel efficent cars to Japan in the 1970′s.
Keeping the ceos in power makes as much sense as re-electing Pres. Bush Jr. to finish the absolute destruction of the U.S. and world.
Only a fool would keep putting the worst man in and in again.
American Business removes the bad ceos. Instead of putting in a similar incompetent leaders.
P.S. this disaster was all made by Pres. Bush Jr. by his forced dates to report to Pres. Obama with the bridge loans.
If All the phonies said no loans should have ever been given to G.M. and Chrysler, there highly feared leader Dubya did this!
Report this comment
November 21st, 2010 at 7:36 am
I agree, especially since the flights are that much. I could see him spending a good $1000 on the whole trip. Are you sure there aren’t cheaper flights? I know that doesn’t really make it all better, but from BC Canada we can often find flights for $99 plus hotel for $90/night.
My bf has bad trouble with debt and I know how you feel. Through my own stupidity and being blinded by love, he owes me a lot of money. And it just erks me every time he eats out when there is a fridge full of food at home or buys new shoes b/c he doesn’t like his old ones, when I know he owes the credit card companies big time.
If he really REALLY wants to go, I would look at finding really cheap flights and hotels and then putting him on a strict budget for the trip. Only let him bring $100 cash and to leave the credit cards at home. Even if this only means staying for 1 or 2 nights. If it can’t be done, then he won’t go. After saying that though, it still will work out to $500. I think he just has to opt out and have his brother over for dinner to congratulate him. I know it is his bachelor party (and will only have one) he can still go to Vegas with his brother some time down the road.
General Motors used to have sell well over 58% of the U.S. car market. Today it is less than half that.
All of the ceos answers was making huge profitable gas guzzling behomouths.
The ceos ignored the gas crisis in the 1970′s for short term profits.
The ceos of the big three U.S. car makers gave up on the small economy fuel efficent cars to Japan in the 1970′s.
Keeping the ceos in power makes as much sense as re-electing Pres. Bush Jr. to finish the absolute destruction of the U.S. and world.
Only a fool would keep putting the worst man in and in again.
American Business removes the bad ceos. Instead of putting in a similar incompetent leaders.
P.S. this disaster was all made by Pres. Bush Jr. by his forced dates to report to Pres. Obama with the bridge loans.
If All the phonies said no loans should have ever been given to G.M. and Chrysler, there highly feared leader Dubya did this!
Report this comment
December 4th, 2010 at 7:40 am
tell him what you exactly feel without talking bad about his brother. and tell him that you really perfer that he doesn’t involve in that parrty. try to talk openly with him. well, he seems a good guy to work for your happines all this long. chaoe
not married but in love.
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December 15th, 2010 at 1:36 pm
The bigger picture here is … this is WHO HE IS, hon.
He’s a guy who isn’t that worried about money, likes to spend it while he has it (or even while he doesn’t have it), and has the plilosophy of “you can’t take it with you.” Am I close ?
You seem to be the polar opposite of him, in that you like having no debt, paying the bills ontime and not having a cloud hanging over your head.
The thing is … you both have that right.
In practical terms, he might need to do some growing up … but clearly he’s not concerned about how this affects you – which makes him NOT marriage material for a girl like you, hon.
It’s not all about love, Sunshine. You two will probably ALWAYS fight about money. If you don’t fight about it, it will still be an issue for one reason or another because of WHO YOU ARE (both of you collectively, not you, personally).
Sincerely … I don’t think you’re a match, hon. I know that money isn’t everything, but it’s usually not given the credence it deserves in the dating process. Since money is such a driving factor in the high divorce rate, you two look like a divorce waiting to happen.
As for the bachelor party scenario, HE probably sees it as “Look, I’ve paid down ALL this debt in the past year and this is only a few hundred bucks, so why are you busting my b*lls?” You said that you know he’s faithful, which is why you’re not afraid of him going … but faithful about what? He might not screw around with a woman, but gambling is always a temptation … so is he being faithful about MONEY? That’s a no.
I wouldn’t question him going – as such. I would question his MIND SET, and his justifications. You can’t change him … but you CAN change how you react to him. Him going to the shindig is NOT the problem – his entire attitude IS the problem.
I think you have a decision to make, and I think it’s telling that you called him “the man I’ve been with for a few years” instead of “my boyfriend” or “my fiance”.
That tells me a lot.
*big hug*
not married but in love.
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December 24th, 2010 at 7:36 am
If it is a bunch of guys going to Vegas for the weekend they will spend WAY more than $600-700. Hopefully that doesn’t include hotel. Guys have to pay to get into clubs and bars there and it isn’t unheard of for them to have to throw $100 each at a bouncer to get in if they go to any of the hot spots on the strip. Table service can easily just start at $500 if they go that route. Unless they go to Mickey D’s and drink in the room, I’m guessing that a Vegas weekend will be closer to 1k-3k. My guy friends went there for a bachelor party for 3 days, stayed at a friend’s house, and still spent 2k each on drinks, food, and club ‘fees.’ Everything in Vegas costs a lot of money…if you’re a guy
not married but in love.
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December 31st, 2010 at 6:37 am
You are right. Not to mention that I think these Vegas bachelor parties are a joke. I would never give my husband my blessing to attend something like this no matter who was getting married. The brother needs to be sensitive of everyones financial situations and stay home and have an inexpensive guys night out instead.
not married but in love.
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January 6th, 2011 at 3:36 am
I would be mad, but here’s a suggestion. Sit down with him and discuss budget. Tell him you feel infuriated that he seems like he is just going to return to binge spending. You would feel better about this if he would follow some suggestions. For instance, he should ONLY use the credit card for his hotel/flight and a set amount of cash for the rest of the trip. I see no reason for him to be hosting the party however. Just taking this trip is enough, IMHO. His brother can pony up the cash if he wants to go out of town for it.
Plan your own vacation and go on that with your friends/family. It was YOUR CHOICE not to go on a vacation while he was handling his debt load. Don’t put that on him. You don’t have to take a vacation with the bf – if fact, I’m sure you have a friend or family member who would love to go on a trip with you.
not married but in love.
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