Why does it strain a relationship to share credit?
My husband and I made alot of mistakes in our twenties with not being responsible and paying bills. Needless to say our credit was ruined. We were both married to other people at the time. Recently he needed a new car. We had to use my credit first and he as a backup to help boost his rating. Problem. He will not share the car. I drive a 96′ Dodge Grand Caravan and he goes through cars like water. He always has to have the best. He got angry because the dealership addressed a envelope to me since I am primary and demanded to see all correspondence. It was a coupon!!!! He flew into a rage, cleaned out the new car and demanded the title to my Caravan. He said he won’t be controlled by me over a car. He made several statements threatening to ruin my credit by not paying. Now I have all the keys to the car. (After he tossed them at me). I went to the bank and they won’t take either name of the loan because the loan is too new. This is the first thing we have bought together. Who should get


July 14th, 2010 at 6:38 pm
I say you get the car and tell him to go jump in a lake, to put it mildly.
Holy Scriptures.
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July 24th, 2010 at 12:36 pm
Your paragraph got cut off. I guess, because it was so long. 1st of all: Tell him to kiss your a$$. 2nd of all: Tell him since you are the primary (because you had to use your credit first), then yes, your name will be on the envelope. 3rd of all: Well, I could keep going..I am not sure what your last sentence was…Who should get… & then it cut off. So I am not sure what else you are asking. But as far as the financial debt of the car, since you are the primary & if he stops paying on the car, then you ARE responsible for that debt. If neither one of you pay, then your at risk of collectors coming after you, lender/bank could take you to court, even possibility of garnishment of wages. I know this kind of stuff since I work for a credit counseling agency here in OKC, OK. Good luck girl!
Holy Scriptures.
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August 4th, 2010 at 3:36 pm
If there is any way to do it, you need to sell the nice, new car now before it is not so nice and new. If you are upside down – meaning you owe more than it’s worth – bite the bullet now. The situation will only get worse. Even if you wind up stuck paying any difference, you are better off. Consider it the price of a lesson learned.
Talk to the bank officer about how to get this accomplished. Your ex will scream bloody murder. Don’t be a powerless baby crying that he’s not doing you right. Stand up for yourself. Let him be mad. That way, you don’t have to be. Take action. Protect yourself. Be strong and weather that storm. After it’s done you’ll feel great!
When it comes to money, you need to learn to be hard. They’re nice and sweet when they want something. Once they have it, they don’t even remember that you helped them.
My ex-husband once explained it to me this way. If a group of women share a pitcher of beer, they make sure that each one gets her fair share. If a group of men share it, they drink as much as they can as fast as they can to make sure they get their fair share.
The gallant gentleman taking care of a woman is a fairy tale. Most guys are so used to pigging the beer they forget to use manners when they’re sharing with their woman.
Holy Scriptures.
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August 18th, 2010 at 3:36 pm
You BOTH need to see a marriage counselor. You BOTH are responsible for the new car you both bought. He is using the car as a “symbol” of who he is. A lot of guys do that. They drive the biggest and newest cars to say “look at me, I am someone important.” That is called low self esteem. A car does not make a person. Unfortunately a lot of guys think it does.
Good luck with this one.
Holy Scriptures.
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September 4th, 2010 at 6:37 pm
on behalf of all men i am sorry..we want what we want when we want it..its a d**n car tell him to try and grow up…we dont do that till we are 40.. but give it a shot…by the way and this sucks..most divorces are over money or other women
Holy Scriptures.
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