What would you call verbal abuse? I may need your help.?
My husband is a very dominating person. He thinks he is perfect…little does he know he’s not. He says so many little things to me that I feel is verbal abuse, but I just don’t know if it really is. Just yesterday I came home from work and changed into my lounge clothes and started dinner. He owns his own business so my job is to do invoices, bills, etc. I was also getting started on that. He came home from work and saw that I had my comfortable clothes on and said, “Why do you have those clothes on, the yard needs mowing!” So he acts mad and jumps on the lawn mower. Then while He was mowing the yard and I was working on paperwork (with papers spread out everywhere and papers on my lap), the phone rang and I couldn’t get up to answer it. When he came in from mowing, he saw that there was a missed call so he flew off and asked why I didn’t get up to answer the phone. I left a cup on the counter last night with water in it and the cat kocked it off and he few off again….cont
the cat knocked off the cup with water and he steped in the water. he flew off again because I left a cup there. (Which I should not have to remember to empty a cup…the cat should be out anyway but he won’t hear of that.)- He tells me all the time that he saved me…that I would be nothing if he hadnt married me. He constantly fusses about something….little picky things. I can’t stand it. I find myself just withdrawing from him and not fighting back. Then when I give him the cool treatment, he saying that I am a bad person and blah blah blah…
For those of you who think that I do not pull my weight….I work a full time job 8 -5. I come home cook dinner everynight. Meat and 3. I do his paper work. I do all the laundry. I clean the house I take off the trash. I do mow the lawn when I have time. I keep my own vehicle clean. I take him his dinner on a tray and fill his glass. He doesn’t respect me. But when I skip a beat, or don’t feel good, he has no sympathy. He thinks I’m trying to get out of something when I don’t feel good. He thinks no one works harder than him. Which is not true. He is just vain.
- Another thing. i wanted to paint the office a cheery yellow. He didn’t want it painted. He never wanted me to get the paint. So I begged till he got it. So, once I got ready to paint…he said for me not to paint a single wall until he was ready to help. He keeps putting me off. He got the paint to shut me up now he is controlling in me a new way by telling me I can’t paint it unless he is there. It’s like I can’t be my own person. So I still have white dull walls that I have to look at everyday while i do his work. – I never ask for anything, never. The paint meant alot to me, but, he is loving that he has that control that he doesn’t want me paintidng til he is there. He will never be there.

July 17th, 2010 at 1:36 am
sounds like he has a lot of stress but you are not his punching bag. if he has all these things for you to do than tell him to get an assistant. that’s not fair for u to work full time, cook, clean and help with his business. your not super woman. he needs anger management or an assistant to take his abuse. your his wife whom he should love and respect not his punching bag.
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July 27th, 2010 at 8:36 am
Verbal abuse is simply “words that hurt”. Sounds to me like you’ve made the unfortunate mistake of marrying an a**hole. I’d tell him to treat me with respect or “He’s fired!”.
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July 27th, 2010 at 8:36 am
yes it is a form of verbal abuse , he sounds more like your father then your husband .
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August 8th, 2010 at 4:36 am
Good luck. I could not stay married to this type of man.
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August 22nd, 2010 at 7:36 pm
been there, done that with my ex hubby. is he a leo? controlling? manipulating? thats emotional and verbal abuse. run chica! my ex wouldn’t let me wear shorts or make up. psychotic men suck.
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August 22nd, 2010 at 7:36 pm
been there, done that with my ex hubby. is he a leo? controlling? manipulating? thats emotional and verbal abuse. run chica! my ex wouldn’t let me wear shorts or make up. psychotic men suck.
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September 9th, 2010 at 3:36 pm
That is mental and verbal abuse and if he continues, threaten him with divorce! and if that doesn;t help, file for divorce!
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October 1st, 2010 at 1:41 am
No its not verbal abuse, he is just an azzhole. You could do better for yourself, trust me.
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October 20th, 2010 at 1:40 pm
You need to separate your business and your private time,your only one person how many jobs are you doing.
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November 4th, 2010 at 6:36 pm
tell him to consult his accountant to see whether it’s worth it to continue being a dick.
you do bills and invoices, so you know how much 1/2 of his money is..
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November 17th, 2010 at 1:39 am
Sounds like he is one step short of beating the crap out of you!
Rule No. 1 – You do not have a “job” in marriage. Its both parties, give and take.
Rule No. 2 – Anyone who says to you “The yard needs mowing” needs to have that mower shoved straight up his butt!
Do not take that crap. He is VERY mentally abusive and controlling over you. Get out while you can, before he beats you up while he is “flying off the handle” (you might be bouncing off his fist)
Be careful, stay safe, and good luck.
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November 26th, 2010 at 9:36 pm
If he is just complaining no. But if he is screaming this stuff at you and calling you names, that’s verbal abuse. I say either talk to him and let him know your sick of his complaining and that he needs to change it or just leave him and find someone who won’t complain as much.
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December 4th, 2010 at 8:36 pm
Sounds like he could be alittle stressed out but verbal abuse I would say you are taking that a bit to far.You didn’t mention him saying anything out of the way to you. If he owns his own business and you have a responsibility to certain duties then you should do them. Why couldn’t you have gotten up and answered the phone he probably looked at it like it could have been business. Starting a new business is stressful.
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December 11th, 2010 at 3:39 am
Yes that is verbal abuse, intimidation and bullying. How you deal with it I’m not sure, marriage guidance counselling ?
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December 16th, 2010 at 4:36 am
Tie the phone and cup to his waist, tell him the yard needs mowing and he best not even miss cutting a single blade of grass. And when he’s done with that, he can do his own damn paperwork. Tell him you’re relaxing and you will go off if anyone bothers you.
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December 20th, 2010 at 2:37 pm
This IS verbal abuse whether he is calling you a name or yelling at you for every little thing and you should not take it! The only reason he does it is because Subconsciously you let him by not standing up for your self trust me i know. You need to stand up for yourself and not let him talk to youthat way! There are way bigger issues in the world than why you left a cup on the counter or didnt answer the phone and he needs to get over himself. You are his wife not his child. Remember that
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December 24th, 2010 at 6:41 am
Honey, that is emotional and verbal abuse! Trust me, it will only get worse from here…
Been there done that, and if you don’t get out now, it will get to the point where it’s either you or him and someone’s gonna be messed up.
My advise, get him into anger management and counseling. Both of you to a marriage counselor as well, and if he refuses, then run. As far and fast as you can.
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December 27th, 2010 at 6:36 am
Verbal abuse is one of the most damaging affects of domestic violence. Just because he does not punch you, that does not mean that he is not truly hurting you. You need to put a stop to this nonsense. He does not have the right to belittle you nor put you down. If you were to go to court and tell a judge or a domestic violence officer, they would confirm that what I am telling you is true. First the put down situation starts and then that’s not enough so they test the waters and try to push you around and it goes from there.
My advise is go to a woman’s shelter and pick up some literature on domestic violence and place it on the dinner table or somewhere it will catch his attention. Let him read it and discuss what is happening in the relationship. If he continues his abuse, get some counseling for your self. If he has a drinking problem that will add to the problem and it might not get better for a while. Thing is that abuse is abuse and you need to stand up for your self and tell him that you are equally entitled to everything. I would also recommend keeping records of the income he makes in a safe place and get a job for yourself out of the house. Put the kids in daycare and do something for yourself. Control is the key word.
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December 29th, 2010 at 6:36 pm
I THINK NAME CALLING WOULD BE CONSIDERED
VERBAL ABUSE. BUT THEN IT COULD BE TAKEN
TO A WHOLE NEW LEVEL. HE IS OBIVOUSLY ON
EDGE FOR SOME REASON. MAYBE HE FEELS
THAT YOU ARE NOT PULLING YOUR WEIGHT. AND
TO YOU THAT IS NOT FAIR. WE AS HUMANS ARE
ONLY HUMAN AND MAKE MISTAKES AND FORGET
THINGS AND SOME TIMES JUST NOT GET EVERY
THING THAT IS NEEDED TO GET DONE …. DONE.
AND THAT IS JUST THE WAY IT IS. AND WHAT
IS THE PROBLEM WITH HIM CUTTING THE GRASS?
I DON’T THINK HE IS COOKING DINNER RIGHT NOW.
DON’T FEEL BAD….. I HAVE A HUSBAND WHO GETS
HOME ALL GRUMPY AND SO FORTH…. AND I JUST
LEARN TO SAY YEA OK…… OK…… AND LIFE WILL
CONTINUE…………
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January 1st, 2011 at 2:36 am
I don’t know if that’s verbal abuse or not, but it most certainly isn’t loving or respectful. Why do you continue to share your life with someone who doesn’t respect you as a human being?
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January 3rd, 2011 at 8:36 am
It ain’t verbal abuse he is just barking orders like all bosses do..
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January 5th, 2011 at 6:37 am
sounds like he’s stressed out, maybe something else is going on and he’s using you to take it out on. nobody deserves this and it sounds like he needs a break or therapy. Has he always been this way?
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